Tom Cruise is apparently 5 feet 7 inches tall.
I say "apparently," but the actor has spent his whole career trying to make his true height as unapparent as possible. He's known to often use smoke and mirrors (and heeled shoes) to trick the public in photos and movie scenes.
Cruise is a solid inch shorter than me — and I never, ever would have guessed it.
So, I thought it might be fun, as an ode to Cruise for his 54th birthday on July 3, to curate a list of people, things, and oddities that are in fact taller than the actor himself.
Consider this a sneaky truth of Hollywood, revealed.
But before carrying on, I'd like to note that all heights are great, wonderful, functional, amazing, and glorious. It's just kind of hilarious that, for the duration of Cruise's career, he has been hell bent on creating a fictional height for himself.
Embrace your height. No shame in your shorty game. And now, here are 13 things taller than Cruise.
Gwendoline Christie — 6-Foot-3
Cruise would probably come up to the elbow of the Game of Thrones actress.
Photo: Richard Young /REX.
Daniel Radcliffe Shirtless On A “Horse” — 5-Foot-5, Plus A “Horse”
Getting Lord Farquaad vibes with this.
Photo: Ray Tang/REX.
Val Kilmer — 6-Foot-0
The two starred in Top Gun together and looked eerily close in height, despite the near half-foot difference.
Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic.
World’s Tallest Cow — 6-Foot-4
The world's tallest cow is, indeed, much taller than Mr. Cruise.
Photo: Justin Goff\UK Press
Anna Wintour In Heels — 5-Foot-7
The severe bob might even add another inch, giving the Vogue editor one more person to look down on.
Photo: MediaPunch/REX.
John Travolta — 6-Foot-2
Together, they're like the Rob & Big of Scientology.
Photo: Henry Lamb/Photowire.
Kanye West — 5-Foot-8
Maybe West can hook Cruise up with a pair of Yeezy Boosts.
Photo: Leon Bennett /WireImage.
Justin Bieber — 5-Foot-9
The Canadian bad boy could give Cruise an elevated shoulder to cry on.
Photo: David Buchan/Variety.
Zendaya — 5-Foot-10
The 19-year-old is a lot taller than Cruise.
Photo: Billy Farrell/BFA.
Saguaro Cactus — 40 To 60 Feet
Way taller.
Photo: De Agostini / L. Romano/REX.
Britney Spears Wearing A Top Hat — 5-Foot-4, Plus Hat
Top hat > Top Gun.
Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images.
Michelle Obama — 5-Foot-11
The first lady has a good four inches on the actor.
Photo: Tim Rooke/REX.
An Ostrich — 6.9 To 9.2 Feet
Imagine Cruise standing next to the ostrich. Please. It's a wonderful image.
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