Crap presents, we've had a few. There was the regifted journal that might have gone undetected, had the giver bothered to remove the original inscription. Who can forget the time your office Secret Santa merely raided the supply closet? Or the year your then-boyfriend's mom handed you a low-fat dieting cookbook, even though you weren't, er, dieting?It could always be worse. For every ribbon-topped sports car or blue Tiffany's box, Hollywood has shown us there's also a pair of socks or pack of toilet seat covers waiting to bust your holiday bubble. Sometimes, the dud gifts are just boring. Sometimes, they're lethal. Sometimes, they're such a letdown that you have to go up to your room and have a quick cry before driving the kids to their Christmas pageant. Damn you, Alan Rickman. Damn you.
Read on for the worst gifts featured on the big screen. They say it's the thought that counts, but...really?
Shoes that are most decidedly not cha-cha heels, Female Trouble (1974)
Dawn Davenport was completely justified in losing it over her parents' failure to get her the right shoes.
Pink bunny suit, A Christmas Story (1983)
All Ralphie wanted was a Red Ryder air rifle. In the end, he got one, but not without a side helping of humiliation courtesy of this Pepto-pink getup.
Mogwai, Gremlins (1984)
It's all fun and games until someone leaves the light on/has a post-midnight feeding/gets wet.
Carton of cigarettes, The Breakfast Club (1985)
Christmas at the Benders' isn't so merry. Smoke up, Johnny.
TV dinners, Better Off Dead (1985)
Now, would you rather have a stack of TV dinners or a framed photo of Ricky?
Towels, Scrooged(1988)
There are a lot of bad presents in this Bill Murray film: meat, knives... Still, giving your devoted assistant a towel instead of a Christmas bonus (or at least a stinkin' VCR) almost merits a call to HR.
Giant teddy bear, Die Hard (1988)
John McClane (presumably) hasn't seen his kids in months — and all he brings them is one stuffed animal? Sweet, but unlikely to go over well.
Jelly of the Month Club membership, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation(1989)
We love chutney, jam, and other assorted preserves as much as anyone else, but you can't buy a swimming pool with jelly. Naturally, Clark Griswold had to take extreme measures to reclaim his Christmas bonus.
Shrunken head, The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
That's what happens when you make the naughty list.
Sweater, Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
All due respect to the amazing Molly Weasley, but in the Harry Potter books, her lumpy, knitted, monogram sweaters are generally regarded as a bit geeky. Chocolate frogs, though? Always a hit.
Reindeer sweater, Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
The ugly sweater strikes again! Not even smug Mark Darcy can escape his mother's sartorial strikeouts.
Socks & a tambourine, About a Boy (2002)
If it hadn't been for the Mystikal CD, Nicholas Hoult's Christmas would have been a total wash.
Joni Mitchell CD, Love Actually (2003)
Never has anyone been more upset to receive a Joni Mitchell CD. Normally, that'd be a good gift. In poor Emma Thompson's case, however, it means that that no-good Alan Rickman is giving a fancy necklace to his assistant.
Wooden pickle, Bad Santa (2003)
We know, we know. This scene is totally heartwarming and we would gladly, tearfully accept a wooden pickle from this adorable cherub of a child. But...a wooden pickle? You can't eat it. You can't leave it lying around the house, lest someone mistake it for something (ahem) else. What the hell do you do with it?
Lingerie, Elf (2003)
Note to Buddy: Your dad is not your "special someone."
Flashlight, Four Christmases (2008)
What's worse? Giving a kid a flashlight that falls within the $10-and-under rule or breaking the bad news about Santa immediately after?
Shower seat, Love the Coopers (2015)
Spoiler: This film involves a spectacularly useless gift.
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