
Theodora has a pristine negative-space gel manicure and soft sombré highlights; her bright-blue eyes are piercing and focused only on me. She’s warm and kind, and I soon realize that not only will I begin to trust her polish advice, but her life advice, too.
I’m at Enamel Diction, a horoscope-based nail shop in L.A.’s Mid-City neighborhood. The polishes are organized by star sign (Virgo’s section is mostly creams and nudes, Gemini’s holds pinks and oranges). There are astrology books among the magazines in the waiting area, but the real draw is Theodora — its resident astrologer.
Here’s how it works: You book an appointment with Theodora online for one of two services. There's Color Analysis ($65), which includes a 15-minute reading focused on just the colors right for you and your nails. Or, you can choose Color Scope ($90), which offers a 30-minute reading that dives deeper, touching on fashion and home decor. Both come with an hour-long manicure with nail art that Theodora decides upon. It’s $20 extra for gels.

Now, before I go any further, note that I am not an "astrology person." I tend to tune out when my girlfriends discuss Susan Miller (or any astrologer, for that matter), and I’ve dated people for months without even knowing their sign. I think astrology is fun and I get the appeal, but I just don’t connect with it like so many people do. It’s also important to note that Theodora didn’t know I was writing a story on her, and I paid in full for my Color Scope manicure/reading.
The basis of the reading is your birth chart, or natal chart. Theodora plugs in your exact birth time, place, day, and year into an app on her phone — this is the future, after all — and generates a replica of the sky at the very moment you entered the world. Using this, she began to probe me in a surprisingly effective direction: Do you wish you were more spontaneous? Do you have trouble sleeping? Did you just travel internationally?
The colors I am to avoid (yellow, all shades of bright green and blue) happen to be colors I dislike, which I have never been able to explain until now. "Each color has a wavelength of light; it’s the speed that projects the color, and it’s that projection that carries the color," she explained. "So, whether we see it or not, we are attracted to certain colors because they are a match for our auras; it’s an energy."

Once my nails were shaped to perfection, Theodora selected a soft, dusty lavender polish with a gold half moon, which encapsulates all my core colors and, she says, would both ground and enliven me during the holiday season. I promised to get gray next time, and to save my classic red for when I need to be especially powerful at work.
I walked out of the salon feeling light as a feather and excited about all the color direction. Was it all real? Well, to be honest, I can't yet point to exactly how my new nail color has affected me this week (or whether I'm more "grounded" or "still"). But, it was a whole lot cheaper than a therapist or an interior decorator — and I got a dope manicure out of it, too.
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