Diamonds are — as we know — a girl's best friend. Often gifts for those major life milestones (graduations, engagements, and anniversaries alike), the shiny desirables are no doubt some of our most prized possessions. But what if they didn't have to feel so high-stake? (Considering the sheer number of tiny charms and slightly loose rings we've lost over the years...yikes.) That's why Lightbox, a new line of less-expensive, lab-grown (yes, lab-grown!) diamonds, is seriously catching our eye.
The innovative jewelry line utilizes scientific research to create lab-grown diamonds that feel completely accessible. These are the kind of studs and pendants we can break out on any occasion, from fancy to just-for-fun. Not to mention, the pastel hues add that little something extra we always seek out in our accessories. Check out our curated top selects from the candy-colored collection ahead, and start making room in your jewelry box. Because, hey — you can never have too many BFFs, right?
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
If you had acne as a teenager, you probably remember stockpiling foaming face washes, topical gels, and all manner of other products that promised to keep your breakouts under control. The star ingredient was always tea tree. You know the one — and you definitely know that earthy, slightly medicinal smell, which lingered long after application.
A lucky few of us managed to leave our zits back in high school, but recent research actually suggests a noticeable increase in adult female acne, meaning we're still reaching for the spot treatments to this day. Somewhere along the line, however, we've upgraded our ingredients list and ditched a humble dab of tea tree in favor of exfoliating acids, like lactic, glycolic, and salicylic, as well as retinoids, the vitamin A derivatives that have the ability to speed up cell turnover and unclog pores.
All the above ingredients are proven to keep breakouts, and the dark spots that follow, at bay. But why have we forgotten tea tree, especially when the experts argue it could be just as effective?
During a recent panel, dermatologist Anjali Mahto made the case for the unassuming ingredient as part of a consistent skin-care routine. "Tea tree oil is derived from the plant melaleuca alternifolia," Dr. Mahto said. "It has been found in some studies to work better than placebo treatments alone in reducing the number and severity of acne lesions, and can be a useful agent due to its antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory activity," she says. That means tea tree has the ability to inhibit the growth of bacteria and bring down redness — which Nauseen Qureshi, a biochemist and founder of skin-care brand Elequra, takes seriously.
"The tea tree's leaves are either ground into a powdered extract or pressed to create an oil," Qureshi said. "Tea tree includes a terpene compound within it called terpinen-4-ol, but the compound is more present and available in the oil form." That terpene, she said, has been shown in some studies to reduce the growth and presence of some types of bacteria, including P. acnes, which aggravates the skin by creating an immune response that leads to breakouts. "Tea tree can help combat the growth of this bacteria to help reduce the occurrence of acne."
According to the experts, tea tree oil formulated at a concentration of 5% is most beneficial for treating acne; it's likely most effective as a targeted spot treatment, concentrated to one specific area. That said, there are numerous best-selling cleansers, moisturizers, and facial mists infused with the ingredient. Medik8's Beta Cleanse, for example, makes for the perfect nighttime wash, thanks to the addition of salicylic acid (which penetrates pores, dislodging sebum and dead skin cells), niacinamide (which regulates oil production and minimizes the appearance of enlarged pores) and, of course, tea tree oil to bust bacteria and reduce inflammation. Elequra's Boosting pH Mist harnesses tea tree to soothe and reduce redness when spritzed liberally onto clean, dry skin, and Benton's Tea Tree Cleansing Water is consistently sold out for very good reason.
But just because tea tree oil is derived from a natural source doesn't mean it works for every skin type. According to Dr. Mahto, it may cause sensitivity and irritation just like other essential oils, so if you're thinking of incorporating it into your skin-care routine, do it as if you were using retinoids or acids for the first time — slowly and with caution. And if your skin reacts, give it a break and seek help from an experienced dermatologist. Say it with us: Just because it's supposedly Meghan Markle's favorite zit-zapper doesn't necessarily mean it'll be yours, too.
This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
Calling all entrepreneurs:We want to hear from you! If you’re a freelancer or self-employed, we’d love to feature your Money Diary.Submit here.
Today: an occupational therapist working in healthcare and the public school system who makes $51,593 per year and spends some of her money this week on a cheeseburger from Wendy's.
Occupation: Occupational Therapist Industry: Healthcare/Public School System Age: 24 Location: North Carolina Salary: $51,593 for my 10-month full-time job, plus $50/hour for my PRN job Paycheck Amount: $3,000 monthly from full-time job, and $400-$700 2x/month from my PRN job
Monthly Expenses Rent: $1,300 for the two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment I live in with my boyfriend, N. This includes laundry, water/sewer, cable/wifi, valet trash, and a pool. N. and I split bills proportionate to our incomes. I'm able to contribute more and cover a majority of the bills, while N. covers his car payment and our furniture credit card. (We had a little too much fun during Memorial Day sales.) We split all gas, groceries, shopping, and entertainment expenses. Student Loan Payment: $330 for private loans and $0 for federal, as I'm on an income-based repayment plan and was in school last year Electric: $100-$150 Car Payment: $335 Car Insurance: $225 Cell Phones: $150 Health Insurance: $0 (I'm still on my parent's medical but I pay all copays, prescriptions, etc.) Renters Insurance: $10 Lincare: $15-$50 (I have sleep apnea and use a CPAP.) Apple Music: $10 Hulu: $7.99 (Our parents use our account.) Netflix: $0 (We use N.'s parents' account.) Amazon Prime: $0 (We use my parents' account.) Savings: ~$500-$1,000, depending on my PRN income
Day One
8 a.m. — I wake up to N. leaving for a short shift at work, and our two dogs (we recently rescued two pugs, who are the CUTEST!) snuggled next to me. One has taken over my pillow and the other is nestled under the covers. I pet them for a few minutes and then roll out of bed to take them for a morning walk.
11 a.m. — I'm easing into my day off by watching reruns of reality TV and snuggling the pugs. I scroll through social media and an advertisement for the Carolina Ballet pops up on my screen. I've been debating buying tickets to see Swan Lake in May. (I danced ballet throughout my childhood, and Swan Lake is the one ballet still left on my bucket list!) I decide to go for it and buy two tickets for N. and me! $97.61
1 p.m. — N. gets home from work and we decide to get our weekly grocery shopping out of the way. We stop by Wendy's first to use some coupons we got in the mail and avoid the pitfalls of shopping hungry. We both get cheeseburger meals and chicken tenders to share. I pay. $12.97
1:30 p.m. — We stop at Trader Joe's to buy our favorite green curry sauce and also pick up apples, oranges, and sugar cookies. Then we pick up the rest of our supplies at Harris Teeter: berries, lettuce, bell peppers, onion, sandwich thins, ground beef, steak, chicken, shredded cheese, milk, juice, frozen pizza, chips, cereal, a taco kit, dryer sheets, toilet paper, dish soap, Coke, and deli meat. N. and I split the total at the register. $61.42
3 p.m. — We watch football (more like N. watches and I play on my phone) with the pugs and take them for a walk at halftime. We've been looking forward to our first Halloween with them and are talking about possible pug costumes. We decide to go shopping tomorrow after work!
7:30 p.m. — I set the rice cooker to cook brown rice (best invention ever!) and then quickly cook chicken breasts. N. and I eat green curry bowls and end the evening with our respective leisure pursuits. For N., it's more football (and yelling at the TV), while I tune in for new episodes of my favorite reality TV shows. I gather all my supplies for work tomorrow morning and call it a night around 10 p.m.
Daily Total: $172
Day Two
6:30 a.m. — I wake up to the puggos licking my face since they know the alarm means it's walking time! I roll out of bed, attach their leashes, and take them for a quick walk. They love it.
7 a.m. — I start the Keurig to fill my travel mug as I hop in the shower. Then, I get dressed and apply face lotion and makeup (eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow pencil, and sometimes eyeshadow). Lastly, I pack my lunch of leftover green curry from last night's dinner, an apple, and a granola bar.
7:40 a.m. — I put the dogs back in bed with N. (since he usually works a later morning/early afternoon shift) and head to my designated school for the day. I'm responsible for three schools all together, but my schedule is organized nicely to limit my going back and forth each day.
8 a.m. — I arrive at the school and settle into my office to plan my day before the kiddos arrive. As an occupational therapist in a school system, I treat kids during the school day and fit in department meetings, treatment planning, and SO MUCH PAPERWORK. I spend some time planning my treatment sessions for the day, printing worksheets, and gathering supplies.
10:30 a.m. — After a few treatment sessions, I quickly clean my office and set up for my next kiddo. As a pediatric OT, my sessions are centered around achieving goals to promote the students' access to their education and participation in meaningful daily tasks and routines. In the school setting, this typically involves increasing fine motor coordination, handwriting and scissor skills, activities of daily living (self-feeding, putting on/taking off jackets and clothing), and sensory strategies. I quickly review the goals of my next student and head off to facilitate self-feeding skills and strategies.
12:45 p.m. — I complete my sessions for the morning and head off to the district office for an afternoon of department meetings. Then I eat my lunch once I get to the office and complete my documentation from my morning sessions. I signed up to check out supplies and gather weighted vests, body socks, pencil grips, adapted scissors, a sensory brush, and adapted lined paper. But I forgot to bring an extra bag to carry everything, so I lug everything around in my messenger bag. Oof.
4:30 p.m. — Finally done for the day, so I run home to pick up N. so we can go to Spirit Halloween for pug Halloween costumes. We are very excited and talk the whole way about how adorable they will look.
5 p.m. — Spirit is complete craziness — we are warned of a unsavory customer speaking to children, and the police are called to intervene. N. and I don't want to get caught in the middle of it all, and the store doesn't carry animal costumes, so we leave. I remember seeing some costumes recently at PetSmart, so we drive back across town to the store. On the way, I drive by my three schools and proudly show N. where I work now. He "oohs" and "ahhs" and we discover a new lake/park near our house that we didn't know existed. We plan to come back and explore it with the pugs.
6 p.m. — We buy the cutest dinosaur and bumblebee costumes from PetSmart. (N. buys one and I buy the other.) But when we get home, we realize we bought one in the wrong size, so we decide to walk from our apartment back to the pet store with the pugs so they can stretch their legs. (We love living so close to everything.) We pick out an adorable skunk costume in place of the dinosaur costume and spend the next hour taking pictures and crying about how cute they are. $18.22
8 p.m. — We forgot to take meat out of the freezer for dinner, so we settle on frozen pizza. When we lived in upstate NY last year, we loved making homemade pizza with dough from Wegmans, but the dough down here doesn't taste as good. N. rents a movie ( The First Purge — it's terrible) and we snuggle until I go to bed around 10 p.m.
Daily Total: $18.22
Day Three
5:45 a.m. — I have two schools to see today and the first one starts early at 7:15! I roll out of bed and complete my morning routine quickly. I almost forget to make coffee in my Keurig, so I wait for my travel mug to fill up before heading out. I'm going to need it today.
6:45 a.m. — I arrive at my first school and quickly send a text to N. to tell him I didn't take the dogs out this morning, so that he remembers to when he wakes up. I log into my email and check my schedule for this school. Then I review goals and head to a classroom.
7:30 a.m. — I spend an hour in one of my special education classrooms working with various students and addressing teacher concerns.
8:45 a.m. — I head over to my second school for the day, which is luckily right down the road and doesn't start until 9:15! I go over my schedule and plan a few treatment ideas to be used with several students. One way occupational therapists address various goals is to plan one main activity, and then upgrade or downgrade it when students have different needs. This way, we can compare progress, save time planning, and utilize various approaches at the drop of a hat.
9:30 a.m. — But of course, when I take the time to plan an activity, my students exhibit needs for other tasks and I end up adapting on the fly. It is important to be flexible in the therapy world, as nothing ever goes perfectly to plan. I save my planned activity for another day and provide my students with different tasks to complete. They love my tennis ball fine motor coordination activity to increase strength and dexterity in their hands as a warm up for handwriting. The tennis ball has a large slit in the side that looks like a mouth. Students use their hands to squeeze the ball to open the mouth and grasp/release small pegs to increase their hand strength, visual motor skills, and hand eye coordination. We affectionately name the tennis ball “Mr. Fuzz.”
12 p.m. — I am starving, and since we didn't have leftovers last night, I eat a simple turkey, cheddar, lettuce, and mustard sandwich with an apple and granola bar. I take an hour to catch up on notes and review goals for my afternoon kiddos.
3:30 p.m. — I finish my sessions and notes for day, and then head home to relax. N. has a short late shift tonight, so I decide to surprise him and bring home donuts from our favorite local shop. As I pull into our complex, I see him driving away and sadly miss him by a few minutes. I call him to let him know he a surprise waiting for him later, and he is grateful. $8.61
5 p.m. — I FaceTime my parents to have our weekly catch up, and it's so nice to see their faces. I haven't lived near them in years, but since my first year in college we've done our best to FaceTime weekly. Usually, they ask about life and I complain about adulting responsibilities. We always end with close-ups of the pugs and their cats and obsess over how cute they all are.
9 p.m. — N. is home and we enjoy a late dinner of steak tacos with brown rice, lettuce, cheese, salsa, and taco shells. I usually save some meat and rice to have a taco salad for lunch the next day, but we're hungry and there are no leftovers. Oh well! I sit up to digest for a little and then head to bed.
Daily Total: $8.61
Day Four
7 a.m. — Alarm is blaring after I snooze for an HOUR. Crap. I leap out of bed, complete my morning routine, and send N. a text since I definitely don't have time to take out the puggos.
8 a.m. — I get to my school at the worst time and get stuck in the carpool line. Ugh. Luckily a teacher recognizes me and lets me cut off the line to find a parking spot. I make it to my office in time to remember my first kiddo is absent this week and I don't have a therapy session until 9. This is definitely not my morning.
11:30 a.m. — I spend time reviewing a continuing education course that is coming up and decide to go. I need the credits for my licensure renewal and it'll be a great way to learn more about the pediatric world. Plus, my employer is trying to locate funding, so I may be reimbursed. I recently switched from geriatric to pediatric and am really enjoying the change. I was working in a skilled nursing facility (SNF) and the summer low census was causing me to have very low paychecks and consequently high stress. While the salary in the public school system is overall less, I am much happier (which was a huge deciding factor). I still get my geriatric fix on the weekends. (I usually pick up eight hours on Saturdays at a per diem rate, which is great money and easy work.) $60
12 p.m. — I eat my lunch (another turkey sandwich, apple, and granola bar) and steal a few pieces of candy from my “prize drawer.” Yes, a prize drawer…but if a small trinket or Starburst gets my kiddos to follow my directions and work on handwriting, then by all means I will buy their love.
3:30 p.m. — School's out but I have a parent/teacher meeting to attend this afternoon. The parent is so sweet, and I enjoy talking with her and collaborating on new approaches to assist in meeting her son's goals. I leave school today feeling fulfilled and professional in my newly acquired role.
6 p.m. — N. and I are hungry and I'm fighting the hump day blues. I refuse to cook, and N. happily suggests Chick-fil-A. I give in and convince him to pick it up if I pay. He obliges and picks up a few chicken sandwiches and nuggets to share. $27.83
9 p.m. — We take the puggos for a night walk and talk about our weeks. N. is hoping for good things to come from an upcoming interview, and I give him reassurance that he is the best! It would be a significant pay raise and in the field he got his degree in. I tell him funny stories from work and we enjoy the time together.
Daily Total: $87.83
Day Five
7:30 a.m. — I get to school early enough today to avoid the carpool line thankfully, and enjoy easing into the day with my coffee and emails. The speech pathologist stops by to ask if I'm attending a meeting this morning and I ask a few questions to ensure my documentation is correct. I finish my coffee and head to the meeting.
9:30 a.m. — Meeting is over and I have a few hours before another meeting at a different school. I prepare for a few treatments sessions and touch base with some teachers regarding any sensory or adaptive equipment concerns they may have. In the pediatric OT world, my services are either direct (treatment sessions with scheduled minutes and goals) or consultative-based (open-ended where I work with teachers to ensure there are no barriers to achieving academic work).
12:30 p.m. — I head to my other school and stop to get gas on the way. A full tank will usually last me a week and a half. Upon arrival, I prepare for my next meeting and discuss my thoughts on exiting a student. She agrees and we complete the necessary paperwork before the meeting starts. I quickly eat another turkey sandwich with an apple and a granola bar and fill up my water bottle. $26.78
3 p.m. — All done with my day, and it's time to head home. N. texted me earlier to say he bought us tickets to see Venom! We decide to eat a quick meal out before the movie. I get a chicken sandwich and N. gets chicken strips and a cup of chili. I pay for both of us. $27.55
7 p.m. — Movie was great! We love to discuss our favorite and not-so-favorite parts afterwards and give a rating out of 10. We both give it an 8/10 and head home to see the pugs. Then I call it an early night and head to bed around 9:30 p.m.
Daily Total: $54.33
Day Six
6:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off and I get out of bed in a timely manner today. N. has an early day as well, so I take the pugs for a quick walk and feed them breakfast while he catches a few extra zzz's. Then it's off to the school!
10 a.m. — A group treatment session goes awry. I pull out a fun cause and effect activity to calm things down. Whew! I consider it a success and transition them back to class.
1 p.m. — The PTA is providing free lunch for staff. Win! I get a salad, ham sandwich, chips, and a cookie. Free food is the best food.
3 p.m. — School is out for the weekend and so am I! I go home and take the pugs out for a walk around the complex. We recently moved to North Carolina and I still don't understand how it's 80+ degrees in October, but I'm looking forward to an easy winter.
5 p.m. — N. is home and we decide to have a scary movie night! I throw together shrimp scampi while N. selects Friday the 13th and Halloween from his movie shelves. We snuggle the pugs and watch the movies, laughing at how far special effects have come.
8 p.m. — My per diem job manager texts me that she has a little over seven hours for me tomorrow. Score! After the movies are over, N. and I call it a night, since we both have to work in the morning.
Daily Total: $0
Day Seven
7:45 a.m. — Alarm goes off and I quickly shower and throw on scrubs. N. agreed to take the dogs out this morning since he has a later shift, so I run out the door with my coffee in hand.
8:30 a.m. — My friend is having a housewarming party tonight, so I stop by Whole Foods to grab barbecue potato chips, various corn chips, guacamole, salsa, ranch, and carrots to bring later. Plus a small frozen meal to tide me over until the party. $46.03
9 a.m. — I check my schedule and see I have four patients and two evaluations today. My coworker who I haven't seen in forever is also working today, so we take a few minutes to catch up.
10:30 a.m. — I emerge dripping in sweat from a patient's room after a full session. In the geriatric setting, I focus on bathing, dressing, toileting, grooming, self-feeding, and toilet transfers. We assist patients in these tasks by providing safety techniques, energy conservations techniques, and adaptive equipment to promote a patient's independence with the tasks, along with physically assisting them with aspects they are unable to complete.
12 p.m. — My next patient is able to complete her tasks with supervision for safety, but I want to increase her upper body strength and endurance for these tasks, so we have our session in the therapy gym.
1 p.m. — I quickly eat my frozen meal while writing treatment notes. I have to maintain 85% productivity, which means 85% of my clocked-in time must be spent in direct treatment of patients. Today, that leaves me with around an hour of extra time to complete any and all documentation, communicate with nurses and other staff, find my patients in the building and transport them to the gym, and pee.
3:30 p.m. — I complete all treatments and evaluations, and then it's time to write up my evaluations. There's a lot more paperwork associated with this role than they prepare you for in school, but sometimes I don't mind this aspect, since it gives me a chance to collect my thoughts at the end of the day.
4:15 p.m. — I'm off for the day, but my coworker and I both forget to buy our other friend a housewarming gift. She still has 30 minutes left to her day, so I offer to buy a gift from both of us and meet her at the party. She agrees to reimburse me later.
4:30 p.m. — After getting lost (I think I know where I'm going…and then I end up on the other side of town), I find a cute little shop and buy a fireplace-scented soy candle and fall flower arrangement ($40.21). I text my coworker and she sends me $20 for her half. $20.21
5:45 p.m. — I finally get to our friend's new house with my snacks and gift. We eat burgers, hot dogs, and snacks, and enjoy a tour of the house. I have a beer and relax with friends as we catch up after a couple weeks apart.
9:30 p.m. — N. had to work late tonight and couldn't make it to the party. I had promised to bring him home a burger and snacks, but all the food is gone. I pick up food for him on my way home, and he is very grateful. $6.79
11:30 p.m. — After a long day and night, N. and I stay up to digest and relax from our days. He plays video games and I snuggle the pugs before heading to bed. I get to sleep in tomorrow!
Daily Total: $73.03
Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women's experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.
The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.
Have a Money Diary you'd like to share? Right now, in addition to our ongoing diaries, we're looking for potential diarists along the following theme:
Your Spending In Your State:We want to run one Money Diary from a different state each week. Want to rep your state? Submithere! In particular, we're looking for diaries from Hawaii, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, North Dakota, Rhode Island, and Mississippi.
Have you been working for at least 8 years and seen your salary increase or fluctuate?If so, fill outthis formfor a chance to be featured on our Salary Story series!
Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here:r29.co/mdfaqs
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Gigi Hadid has had it. The model is leading a crusade against the paparazzi, and with good reason. But that crusade has come at a cost. She is now being sued over an Instagram post of...herself.
According to People, Hadid’s feud began when she reposted a now-deleted paparazzi image of herself on her Instagram account. It was a simple, “Hi! Look at me doing my thing!” photo that celebs are wont to post. Hadid later claimed she found the uncredited photo on Twitter. The next day, she pulled the shot down and posted a text-only image, informing her 43.8 million followers that she was being “legally pursued” for posting the copyrighted image.
“The photo is by a Paparazzi & is of me on the street outside an event last week,” Hadid explains. “I posed/smiled for the photo because I understand that this is part of my job,” she wrote, adding that she understands that such events are expected to bring out the press, and empathizes with paparazzi photographers who need to earn a living.
But Hadid is clearly upset at being sued for posting the photo, writing that “for someone to take a situation where I was trying to be open, and sue me for a photo I FOUND ON TWITTER (with no photographer’s name on the image), for a photo he has already been paid for my whatever outlet put it online (!!!), is absurd.”
Unfortunately, if the image is copyrighted by the photographer, paparazzi or not, it subject to the same laws that protect artists from having their work stolen. Celebs and regular folks: it’s not safe to post photos you didn’t take yourself on your social media accounts. Yes, even if they are of you.
Hadid also goes on to draw a distinction between public events and her privacy. “Most circumstances [in which I am photographed] are not this way, i.e. leaving my apartment, or anytime. I feel that my privacy is being unreasonably intruded upon, doing everyday things feel harder to face.” She goes on to describe the fear she faces from the photographers, writing that they “drive dangerously close and extremely recklessly; they put the general public in danger in pursuit of a photo.”
It’s no secret that celebs can’t stand the paps. Their methods verge on criminal stalking,dangerous car chases, and deeply invasive photographs of private moments. Addressing the paps directly, Hadid wrote, “I understand that this is how you make your living, and I respect that this is something I must accept with my job. But there is a line.” You can read her full statement below.
Selma Blair has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, the actress revealed in an Instagram post on Saturday. Blair, 46, wrote that she received her official diagnosis in August, though she believes she has had the disease for much longer and was “never taken seriously” by medical professionals.
“I have probably had this incurable disease for 15 years at least. And I am relieved to at least know. And share,” the actress wrote.
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a disease that affects the central nervous system, causing interruptions in the transmission of nerve signals between the brain, spinal cord, and rest of the body, according to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. This can cause tremors, dizziness, fatigue, and numbness or weakness in the limbs. Though MS affects over 2.3 million people worldwide, it affects two to three times as many women as men.
It is also commonly misdiagnosed. According to a 2017 Health Union survey of over 5,000 Americans living with MS, 42% of respondents said they were initially diagnosed with another condition including depression, migraine, and fibromyalgia.
Blair thanked the producers, actors, and crew on her upcoming Netflix series Another Life for providing a supportive workplace environment as she navigates her life with MS, particularly costume designer Allisa Swanson. Blair wrote that Swanson “carefully gets my legs in my pants, pulls my tops over my head, buttons my coats and offers her shoulder to steady myself.”
Blair was frank about the symptoms she has experienced as a result of MS.
“I am disabled. I fall sometimes. I drop things,” Blair wrote. “My memory is foggy. And my left side is asking for directions from a broken gps. But we are doing it. And I laugh and I don’t know exactly what I will do precisely but I will do my best.”
MS does not yet have a cure, but treatments such as physical therapy and medication can slow the progression of the disease.
“I have MS and I am ok,” Blair wrote. “But if you see me, dropping crap all over the street, feel free to help me pick it up. It takes a whole day for me alone. Thank you and may we all know good days amongst the challenges.”
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
Calling all entrepreneurs:We want to hear from you! If you’re a freelancer or self-employed, we’d love to feature your Money Diary.Submit here.
Today: a law associate who makes $380,000 per year ($540,000 when combined with her husband) and spends some of her money this week on chips and guac.
Occupation: Associate Industry: Law Age: 30 Location: New York, NY MySalary: $380,000 My Husband's Salary: $160,000 My Paycheck Amount (Biweekly): $6,000 My Husband's Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $3,250
Monthly Expenses Rent: $4,600 (not including one-and-a-half free months that we received when we first moved in) Loans: $0 (I had a full merit-based scholarship to college and law school, and we bought our car outright.) Health Insurance: $450 per paycheck FSA: $50 MetroCard: $121 Daycare: $2,700 Garage: $190 401(k): $100 (I recently cut back my contribution amount. I was previously contributing to it aggressively, and have about $42,000 saved.) Cable & Internet: $ 160 Electric & Gas: $100 Cell Phones: $0 (Both my husband and I are on my parents' family plan.) Netflix: $0 (We use my parents' account.) Savings: I move about $10,000 from our checking account into a savings account that yields 1.8% annually. We have $380,000 in savings that we've earned over the last three years. I don't plan on staying in this job forever, so we try to save towards our future as much as possible.
Additional Expenses Car Insurance: $600 twice a year
Day One
7 a.m. — Wake up to snuggles from my cuddly nine-month-old, T. My husband, G., honorably takes T. to play and lets mommy catch some more zzzs. I sleep for about an hour more, and then find my boys in the living room and make us breakfast. Coffee in the French press, sourdough toast with peanut butter for G., and toast with almond butter for me. I share a white peach I received from my farm share this week with T., and also give him a baby yogurt and puffs. (We paid $380 for 13 farm share shipments to be delivered every other week from June through October. Each box includes fruits, veggies, and a dozen eggs.)
9:30 a.m. — After cleaning up breakfast and making sweet potato puree for T. and butternut squash soup (more farm share haul), I pack T. up in the jogging stroller for a four-mile run across the 59th Street Bridge. The incline is hard! When I get home, I feed the baby some sweet potatoes — he loves them. Then G. brings him out for a run so I can pump in peace.
12 p.m. — Lunchtime. Butternut squash soup for me, and I make a veggie burger and a roasted beet salad for G. I mix pumped breast milk with whole grain rice cereal for T., and he also gets more sweet potato. We attempt to get T. to nap, but we fail because he's more interested in attempting to throw himself off the bed. I catch him by his ankles and dangle him upside down, and he thinks it's hilarious.
1 p.m. — We give up on the nap and head out for an adventure! We take the subway (using our unlimited monthly MetroCards), and stop at a bar for a drink to make braving the crowds of tourists in midtown more bearable. I get a spiced cider and G. gets a beer ($19). Then we stroll through Central Park since it's the most beautiful fall day! T. tries to grab leaves on the trees as we walk through the park. It's perfect. $19
4 p.m. — We make our way over to the Upper East Side, where my husband used to live in his bachelor days. We have a lot of memories over here. We stop in The Penrose for another drink – a pumpkin beer for me (#basic) and another beer for G. ($20). Then we head to one of our favorite restaurants, Beyoglu, for an early dinner. The food is great and cheap, and the people-watching is unbeatable (so much plastic surgery on the UES!). We share fried calamari, G. gets a chicken and rice dish, and I get a mezze platter with various vegetarian spreads ($74). I feed T. little bits of rice and bread from the restaurant, as well as baby food I brought from home (zucchini and peas). $94
8 p.m. — We take the subway back home. It's time to get T. ready for bed. We have a huge bathtub, and most nights T. and I take a bath together. He loves to play in the water. Then I breastfeed him in bed, and he plays around and falls asleep. I hang with G. in the living room while he watches tennis, and head to bed a little after 9.
Daily Total: $113
Day Two
7 a.m. — I'm not sure how many times the baby was up in the night. He sleeps in our bed with us. I know you're not supposed to do this, but I'm doing what I have to do to get by. He slept pretty well in the crib while I was on maternity leave, but when I first went back to work, he was waking up EVERY HOUR. My job is very demanding, and rather than walking into his nursery every hour and not getting any sleep, I brought him into bed with us. I can't stand letting him cry. When we wake up, I feed him oatmeal with breast milk. Then G. takes him for a run while I do a 20-minute yoga video on YouTube and go on a cleaning rampage. I make the bed, fold the laundry, vacuum the apartment, and scrub down both bathrooms. Cleaning is therapeutic to me.
9:30 a.m. — My Whole Foods groceries arrive via Amazon Prime Now. I ordered kombucha, soy milk, Siggi's yogurt, organic strawberries, a bunch of bananas, grapefruit, lemon, avocado, whole wheat orecchiette, cherry tomatoes, basil, tomato paste, sourdough bread, mint chocolate chip ice cream, a dark chocolate bar, and all-natural coffee creamer ($62.07). Convenient, but the basil is missing. I'll complain and get a refund. For breakfast, G. and I eat the delicious fresh sourdough bread with nut butters and fruit on top. I also make scrambled eggs. The baby eats eggs and cut up fruit for second breaky. He's just learning to eat "finger foods" with his little hands, and it's just so precious. We have French press coffee with Whole Foods creamer. $62.07
10:30 a.m. — My work friend sends me a picture of this super cute Halloween onesie that says "I vant to suck your boob" and says that T. needs it. I order a similar one from Amazon for my cousin's baby as a surprise ($13) and also a big cast iron griddle for myself to make pancakes ($29). $42
12 p.m. — We take the subway into the city again to meet my former boss, C., who has become one of my greatest friends, for brunch at Rosemary's. We share truffle focaccia and a trio of delicious vegetable appetizers including chickpeas, cabbages, and eggplant. I have a kale salad as my main with seared yellow fin, and G. gets pasta. I have a glass of red wine, too. C. orders a panini that he doesn't like, so we take it home for dinner ($112). Then we stroll around the village with T. in the Babybjorn. I get ice cream from Van Leeuwen's — a scoop of blackberry Danish and a scoop of vanilla on a fresh waffle cone. I share with the baby and G. ($9). It starts to mist, so we head home on the subway. $121
5 p.m. — We're not ready for the fun to end, so we open up a bottle of Wolffer red wine that my in-laws sent for my birthday. Then we walk around our apartment building with T. — there's an indoor courtyard with a garden. We talk to some neighbors, including a couple that also has a nine-month old son. And another neighbor tells me that the herbs in the garden are for anyone's use! Turns out I don't need that basil after all.
7 p.m. — I make G. leftovers for dinner — the panini, butternut squash soup, and beet salad. The baby and I have avocado toast. Afterwards, I clean up and then it's bath time and bedtime for T.
7:30 p.m. — I work on a research assignment for work for about two hours, and fall asleep by 9:30.
Daily Total: $225.07
Day Three
6:45 a.m. — Wake up and pack T.'s lunch for daycare (two bottles of milk and three jars of puree). I do yoga for about 20 minutes in the hall outside T.'s room while he plays with his toys and G. showers. Then we switch — G. watches T. while I shower. We eat breakfast together as a family — more sourdough toast with nut butter and bananas and strawberries. Nespresso with soy milk for me and creamer for G. T. gets oatmeal with mashed banana. Then we all head out. I can't believe it every time we make it out the door. T. and I walk G. to the subway because he needs to get to work by 9 a.m. I can get in later, so I bring T. to daycare. It's only a five or 10 minute walk from home, but we usually leave early to walk through the park together. I also call my mother and grandmother during this time to catch up.
9 a.m. — I hang out with T. for a few minutes at "school" (we call daycare school because it sounds nicer) and then head into work. He is always SO EXCITED to see his teachers and friends and toys at school, so I don't feel too sad leaving him. He cries when I leave, but I get picture updates throughout the day and can see that he's having a lot of fun. I get to work about 10 minutes later and dive into research.
10:30 a.m. — I head up to the "mother's room" at my office for a 20-minute pumping session. There's a computer and phone so I can continue my work pretty seamlessly. I talk to my best coworker friend, and we decide to order Sweetgreen for lunch. I get a modified custom salad with arugula, basil, chickpeas, heirloom tomatoes, roasted peppers, cucumbers, burrata, and pesto vinaigrette to pick up at 12:15. After we pick up our salads, I eat at my desk while working and drink a kombucha that I brought from home. $12.70
2:30 p.m. — Pump time again. I keep working, but definitely need a second coffee on this Monday. My coworker and I head to Starbucks, and I use my "reward" to get a free medium soy latte. It hits the spot on this cool fall day. Finally!
5 p.m. — I was very productive today. I pack up my bags (full of milk!) and head to daycare. G. has a work dinner tonight, so he won't be home until late. Picking T. up is the highlight of my day. The smile he gives me when he first sees me is so precious. We walk home, I clean his bottles and food jars, and then I make avocado toast for me and give him sweet potatoes for dinner. After we eat, I put him in the Babybjorn and we take a walk around the block. I see the bartender at our corner spot outside and say hello. T. is mesmerized by the trees and sky and tries to grab them. The sun is setting, there's a cool breeze, and I feel so peaceful spending this time with my baby. I love him so much.
7 p.m. — Bath time, then boob time, then bedtime for T. After he falls asleep, I work for about two hours. I'm up until about 10:30 when G. gets home from his work thing. I couldn't fall asleep without him, so I'm up later than I'd like to be.
Daily Total: $12.70
Day Four
6:15 a.m. — None of us slept great last night. Oh well. I do weight exercises and yoga in the baby's room while he plays on the floor. G. has an early meeting, so he leaves for work earlier than usual. I make the baby a scrambled egg for breakfast, and I have strawberry rhubarb Siggi's yogurt with cut up strawberries, Kind granola, and a scoop of almond butter. Aldi's has the best almond butter out there. I make a Nespresso pod with soy milk.
8:30 a.m. — It's pouring out, so I strap T. into the Babybjorn and pack up our bags (including bottles, food, and pumping parts) and we walk half a mile to school. It's SO HEAVY that I wonder if I'll make it. I try to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" to teach T. about rain, but I'm out of breath and can barely breathe!
9:30 a.m. — Drop off went well, and now I'm at my office. I make an iced latte with almond milk in the kitchen. I'm working on a document review that's a little boring and frustrating because we keep changing the approach that we're taking and having to redo work. Argh.
11:30 a.m. — It's pouring rain, and I have a $10 promo code from Grubhub, so I treat myself to Blue Ribbon Sushi for lunch, delivered. YOLO. $23
5 p.m. — I leave work to pick up the baby. He's been boycotting his bottles at daycare this week (which I'm a little worried about), so I breastfeed him right when we get home. I order Indian takeout for dinner from this amazing place and get spicy lentils, sag paneer, spicy cauliflower, and garlic chili naan for G. and me to share ($48). I'm happy to have G. rejoin us for dinner since we had breakfast and dinner last night apart. After dinner, we head down to the basement game room and play ping pong with T. strapped in the Babybjorn. I put the paddle in his hand and we play against Daddy. He laughs and loves it and cries when we leave. $48
7:30 — After T. goes to bed, G. and I watch Ozark in bed. We're so into this show. We fall asleep around 9:30.
Daily Total: $71
Day Five
6 a.m. — T. was up a lot in the night and has a stuffy nose. I think the poor little guy is sick. G. takes him to play and lets me sleep in a little longer. (G. doesn't usually wake up when T. does, so he slept fine last night, but I'm exhausted!)
7:17 a.m. — Why did they let me sleep this long?! I wake up, throw our sheets in the laundry, whip up blueberry buckwheat pancakes on the new griddle that I ordered, clean up, shower, get dressed, pack our bags, and we're out the door by 8:30 to walk G. to the subway.
8:30 a.m. — Realize I didn't put on deodorant! I head back home with T. and in the meantime get four emails from my bank's fraud alert asking whether I spent $400 on Amazon Australia. Uh, no. I give them a quick call, close out our current card, and am told that new cards should arrive tomorrow. That was painless, but I'll have to change all our auto-pay stuff later. I put on deodorant, drop T. at school, and head to work.
9:30 a.m. — This is a "slow" time at work for me, so I take advantage of it. My job is usually very busy and very stressful. I'm expected to be on call 24 hours a day, including weekends. It's pretty typical for me to work 70 to 80 hour weeks, so when I have a bit of downtime like this, I don't feel guilty. After pumping, I do a 30-minute yoga video from Aaptiv (my work friend sent me a 30-day free trial) in the mother's room. I feel so relaxed, and it's amazing. I've got to do this more often.
12:30 p.m. — We have an associate lunch today with limited veggie options. I eat iceberg lettuce and roasted potatoes, and some not-so-great creamed spinach. At least it's free?
1:30 p.m. — I place a FreshDirect order for apples, bananas, lemons, beets, avocados, carrots, kale, zucchini, Siggi's yogurt, nut milk, dried chickpeas, whole wheat English muffins, a bar of dark chocolate, a case of grapefruit LaCroix, and anchovy paste (for homemade Caesar salad dressing). $56
5 p.m. — Leave work, order Italian takeout (kale Caesar salad, garganelli pasta with mushrooms, and eggplant parm), and pick up the baby. G. meets us at the school since it's "open house" night. We chat with some of the teachers and other parents for a bit, and then head home. After dinner, we go to the game room again to play ping pong. T. loves it again and I envision him as Forrest Gump. $50
8 p.m. — Bedtime. We attempt to put T. in his crib, but he cries uncontrollably, and we don't even last five minutes. Then I snuggle him in our bed, and he passes out quickly. We go to bed around 9:30 again.
Daily Total: $106
Day Six
1:30 a.m. — In a lame effort to cut T. off the night feeds, I withhold the boob from him, which results in an hour of him whining and an hour of me being awake. I finally give in and give him the boob and he passes out immediately. Another mom fail…
6:20 a.m. — The intercom in our apartment goes off. FreshDirect is here. G. gets up to receive it and put the groceries away. They were out of my chocolate bar :(. I make us breakfast — Whole Foods peanut butter cereal for G. with sliced bananas, banana slices and puffs for T., and Siggi's yogurt with granola and banana for me. I think it's so cute that we all share the banana.
7:45 a.m. — G. has to take T. to school today because I have an early call at 8. I pack up the stroller with T.'s bottles and food and log into my computer to get ready for the call. My call ends at 9, and I take advantage of the alone time to run a quick 2.5 miles on the treadmill in the gym in my building. I finish up and my colleague wants to debrief, so I take a quick shower and jump on a call with her at 10. After getting caught up on work, I realize it's almost lunchtime and I might as well work from home to save on commuting time.
12 p.m. — I make a kale salad with homemade Caesar dressing (olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, anchovy paste, a dash of soy sauce, and cinnamon) and pumpkin seeds. I also eat an apple with almond butter. I feel weak. I think I may be getting sick. I work all afternoon while watching the Kavanaugh hearing in the background. She is a credible witness. He is angry AF and won't stop talking about beer. If I hear the word "beer" again…
5:15 p.m. — I meet G. picking up T. from school, and we all walk home together. G. says his throat hurts, and we both agree that we're sick. We stop in the communal herb garden in our building's courtyard to pick a heap of basil for dinner. I make G. a kale Caesar like what I had for lunch. I also make pasta — whole wheat orecchiette with yellow squash cooked with olive oil, garlic, tomato paste, anchovy paste, and red pepper flakes. Mix in butter, a ton of parmesan, and then cut basil at the last minute. It's delicious. We also have some more Wolffer wine and mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert. Baby gags on plain pasta, so he eats chickpeas and bananas instead.
8 p.m. — We're all definitely sick. T.'s been especially boogery this week, so I blame him. I guess the germs are the cost of the snuggles. Fine by me. G. and I snuggle, take Tylenol PM, and go to bed early.
Daily Total: $0
Day Seven
6:45 a.m. — Wake up to an alarm because T. has his nine-month checkup. I'm still feeling sick, but at least not worse than yesterday. We shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and leave at 8. G. and I disagree about how to get there. It's only 1.2 miles away, and I want to walk, but it's drizzling out, so G. wins and we take the car. The garage is in our building, so G. calls to give them a heads up, and then we're on our way. We actually find street parking and it's $1 for an hour. $1
8:30 a.m. — We love our doctor. I told him I was worried about some things, and he says whatever we're doing is great, because the baby is thriving. After the appointment, we drop the car at the garage. G. heads directly to work and I stop in the apartment to breastfeed T. and grab his food for the day. Then I drop him off at daycare. We arrive just in time for snack time, and I sit with him while he eats a few blueberries for the first time. Then it's off to work.
12 p.m. — I take a break to run to Sweetgreen with my coworker. I have $9 in rewards so my salad is only $3. We catch up about the hearing yesterday. $3
2:30 p.m. — It's pump time. I usually pump two to three times per day at work. My pumping schedule has to be flexible around my meetings. Then I go to a meeting for one of my cases. I can't wait to get home and for the weekend to start.
5 p.m. — I leave work, pick up T., wash his bottles and food jars, and then we take an early bath. Afterwards, I put his PJs on, breastfeed him, put him in the stroller, and head out with G. to our local Mexican spot for chips, guacamole, tacos (cactus for me, shrimp for G.), and margaritas! We head home at 7:30 for bedtime. $66.91
8 p.m. — The baby falls asleep in the stroller only a couple blocks into our walk home, so we decide to turn back to the Mexican restaurant and get a second round of margs! What a romantic treat for G. and me. We head home afterwards, transition T. into bed, and go to sleep. TGIF! $27.43
Daily Total: $98.34
Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women's experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.
The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.
Have a Money Diary you'd like to share? Right now, in addition to our ongoing diaries, we're looking for potential diarists along the following theme:
Your Spending In Your State:We want to run one Money Diary from a different state each week. Want to rep your state? Submithere! In particular, we're looking for diaries from Hawaii, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, North Dakota, Rhode Island, and Mississippi.
Have you been working for at least 8 years and seen your salary increase or fluctuate?If so, fill outthis formfor a chance to be featured on our Salary Story series!
Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here:r29.co/mdfaqs
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
In Refinery29'sSweet Digs, we take a look inside the sometimes small, sometimes spacious homes of millennial women. In today's episode, Amanda Lee Domenech shows off her Staten Island two-story apartment, which she shares with her husband and a cat.
As a photographer, 28-year-old Amanda Domenech finds light very important. So for her, the selling points of her two-story Staten Island apartment were the high ceilings and morning light — something you can barely find in Manhattan.
"I can actually have plants in this apartment, which is crazy," Domenech says. "What really sold me was the kitchen with the vaulted ceiling. I feel so inspired when I'm drinking my coffee."
The bright two-bedroom space has an extra bonus, as well. Domenech and her husband outfitted the attic with a guest room, an office space, and even a space for her husband to jam out on the drums. And with their creative sensibilities combined (her husband is a videographer), they've created a colorful, punchy home inspired by their travels.
"I really wanted to go with a Scandinavian scene, but if it was up to my husband it would look like a hotel," Domenech says. "There would be nothing in it."
Watch the video above to get a grand tour of their home, and learn a few decorating tricks while at it. The most important one? Stay patient. "You’re never going to find the perfect piece at the time that you need it," Domenech says.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
This weekend, The New York Times reported that the Trump administration is considering implementing a strict definition of gender as “a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth.”
Should this come to pass, it would be a massive blow against the transgender community, effectively curtailing federal civil rights protections for trans people across the country.
How The Administration Plans To Enact The Change
A memo outlining the plan to narrow down the government’s definition of gender has been circulating among administration officials since last spring, per the NYT. The Department of Health and Human Services is leading the effort to establish a legal definition of sex under Title IX, which bans gender discrimination in education programs that receive financial aid from the government. The memo also states that any dispute over a person’s sex would have to be clarified using genetic testing.
Trump administration officials told the NYT that HHS is prepared to present the new definition to the Department of Justice to determine its legality by the end of the year. If the definition is approved by the DoJ, it can be applied to Title IX and across government agencies.
“This administration is willing to disregard the established medical and legal view of our rights and ourselves to solidify an archaic, dogmatic, and frightening view of the world,” said Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, in a statement to Refinery29.
According to the NYT, about 1.4 million transgender Americans would lose federal recognition under this new definition of gender.
This new definition could potentially have a huge impact on trans people, including affecting access to health care, education, housing, and employment, and the ability to acquire a photo ID (which, among other things, is required to register to vote in many states).
Omar Gonzalez-Pagan, a senior attorney at Lambda Legal, told Refinery29 that existing civil rights law, the majority of the courts, and medical and scientific consensus all go against the nature of this new definition.
“In any event, organizations like Lambda Legal stand ready to battle and fight against such an outrageous proposal so divorced from reality and the lived experiences of this community,” Gonzalez-Pagan said. “But I think in the immediate...Call your representatives. Call your media outlet. Find ways to elevate the voices of transgender people.”
While this proposal is administrative in nature, Congress is able to take legislative steps to safeguard trans rights, specifying that trans rights are protected under Title VII and Title IX. Keisling says that NCTE is pushing for Congress to pass the Equality Act, which is written to explicitly protect LGBTQ Americans’ civil rights.
Legislators on the state level are also able to pass laws protecting their trans citizens’ rights. Brianna Titone, a trans woman running for the state House of Representatives in Colorado’s District 27, says instances like these are why it is vital to vote. “We need more state legislation to protect civil rights, but many states refuse to advocate for their most vulnerable citizens,” Titone tells Refinery29. “We need to elect people at all levels who will stand up for these groups of citizens.”
The Trevor Project said in a statement that they have seen a significant rise in contacts from young transgender and non-binary people in the past year, now over 30% of their total crisis volume. “Trevor will always be here to let LGBTQ youth know they are not alone, we will always fight to keep LGBTQ youth safe, and we are exploring options to push back against any policy decisions that tell LGBTQ youth they should not exist,” they said. “And as always we will be available 24/7 for any and all LGBTQ youth in their moment of crisis.”
If you are an LGBTQ person experiencing a crisis or thinking about suicide, please call theTrevor Lifelineat 1-866-488-7386.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
The White House is more than just the place our president lives and works; it’s where most of the major political moments in American history have happened. And all those moments, had by so many presidents and the leaders and founders of the country, means one thing: ghosts.
“My phone rang, it woke us up in the middle of the night. We had a fireplace in our room, and all of a sudden we started hearing, like, 1920s piano music, as clear as day, coming out of the fireplace,” Hager said on the Today show.
President Harry Truman also had a ghost sighting. He wrote in a letter to his wife, “I sit in this old house, all the while listening to the ghosts walk up and down the hallway. At four o’clock, I was awakened by three distinct knocks on my bedroom door. No one was there. Damned place is haunted, sure as shootin’!”
Sure as shootin’, indeed.
Anyway, if one accepts that the White House is haunted (which, again, it absolutely is), one must also accept that the many ghosts who are always present somewhere in the White House, Haunting of Hill House -style, may not be crazy about the current president who is banging around the place.
Unfortunately, we don’t yet have the security clearance to march right up to these ghosts and ask them just what they think of President Donald Trump. But what we do have are the powers of hearty speculation and knowledge of what Trump has done throughout his time in office. So, here are all the known ghosts of the White House, plus all the beef they could have with Trump.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Sure, time heals all wounds, but when you're going through a painful breakup, you just want time to move as quickly as it needs to for the heartbreak to be over.
But as difficult as it can be, healing from the end of a relationship is essential. Susan Bartell, PsyD, a psychologist who works with couples, says that giving yourself time to get over a breakup helps you figure out what you want from your next relationship.
"The grieving helps you recenter yourself as someone without that other person, so you can go to the next relationship feeling good about looking for someone who’s healthy for you," Dr. Bartell says.
While there's no timeline for how long it can take to get over someone, Dr. Bartell says it can definitely depend on how long you were dating, and how you broke up.
"If you’re going out with someone for years and they break up with you very suddenly with no warning at all, that’s going to be much harder to get over than if you’ve been arguing and discussing breaking up, and that was already on your radar," she says. "If you’re the one doing the breaking up, it’s easier to get over than if you’re the one broken up with."
Beyond that, Dr. Bartell says the best way to start getting over someone is to spend tons of time with friends and family who love you, and to focus on things in your life that don't have to do with that relationship. And, she says, even if you weren't living with your ex, making a change to your living space can do wonders.
Whether or not you lived with your ex, if you had them over in your home fairly often, seeing things like framed photos or even certain areas of your space might remind you of the time you had a movie night at your place, or had a home-cooked meal at your dining table.
"Change the paint, the walls, bedding," she says. "Hang up new pictures. Do something to change your living space up so that it’s not such a reminder of the other person."
But no matter what, it's important not to rush yourself into getting over it.
"Don’t expect yourself to get over it quickly — you need to expect that it’s going to take time to happen," Dr. Bartell says.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Update: Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have reportedly ended their engagement. In case you're just getting involved in this summer romance gone too soon, or are simply looking for some answers, we've tracked their entire relationship from the very beginning to its rumored end. How? Through their tattoo history of course. Their relationship might be over, but their love will live on forever through a lot of ink (at least, until one of them gets laser removal). Read on for the full, and very permanent, timeline.
This story was originally published on June 14, 2018.
You'd have to be living under a rock to miss out on the news that Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson and Grammy nominee Ariana Grande were recently reported to be engaged after dating for approximately one month. Despite cryptic posts from Grande's Twitter, affirmative sources, and a chatty jeweler, we're still not entirely convinced we have all the answers to this pop culture mystery. ICYMI: Their relationship timeline doesn't add up.
Unfortunately, this isn't a game of Clue and the answer isn't just Davidson at Robert Pattinson’s exclusive birthday party with a $100,000 ring. To unlock the chamber of secrets, you have to uncover all the clues the newly-minted couple have left for us. And the best place to start is on their bodies. When you look closely at each person's tattoos, there's more to the story than just a cartoon portrait of Davidson's ex and Grande's affinity for dainty designs.
The real timeline is written in permanent ink, so buckle up and follow along to find out how — and when — Grande and Davidson really began.
November 12, 2016: While dating Cazzie David, Davidson gets a tattoo on his left ring finger of what appears to be the word "May." Is it possible this is a tribute to David? (Her birthday is May 10.) For the first time, Davidson's new tattoo is visible in "Football Party" on SNL.
May 5, 2018: The presumed "May" tattoo still appears to be intact when Davidson is invited as a guest on SNL's Weekend Update.
May 7: Grande attends the Met Gal a in New York without then-boyfriend Mac Miller — and without any new finger tattoos.
May 12: Davidson adds three more tattoos to the same hand (his left) where "May" presumably once sat. The new ink appears to be an image of Pikachu on his index finger, a cloud on his middle finger, and a heart on his pinky. You can see all three clearly in theSNL "Talent Show" skit below.
Later that night, Davidson and Grande are seen at the same SNL after-party.
May 14: Fans begin to notice Grande's penchant for clouds — and emojis of clouds — on both Instagram and Twitter. She posts a photo with a caption proving their point.
May 17: Davidson shows off his new knuckle tattoos on Instagram. This time, "May" is nowhere to be found, seemingly covered by three black lines on the same ring finger. One could even argue that the design looks like an engagement ring tattoo...
May 18:Bossip reports that Grande and Davidson are "casually" dating.
May ~19: Jeweler Greg Yuna told E! News in June that Davidson called him at the "end of May" asking for a ring. Although the comedian never revealed who the ring was for, many assume it was the engagement ring for Grande. We're led to assume that Yuna was referring to the week of May 19.
May 20: Stealthy Arianators sneak a video of Davidson with Grande's entourage at the Billboard Music Awards. Twitter fans quickly notice a new tattoo on her middle finger: a cloud similar to Davidson's. It's deduced that Davidson and Grande may have received these new finger tattoos together.
June 11: Davidson and Grande are reportedly engaged.
June 18: Davidson and Grande (along with a few friends) get matching "H2GKMO" tattoos on their hands. The meaning? Fans strongly suspect it's a phrase — "honest to god knock me out" — Ari and crew say often, especially on Twitter.
— kyia is here for ariana♡ (@oItvisuals) June 18, 2018
June 26: Grande posts a photo of her hand to her Instagram story, revealing two new tattoos. One shows the number "561," which is the area code for Boca Raton, Florida, where she was born and raised. (It's also revealed on another Instagram story that Davidson has a similar tattoo of his hometown area code on his left thumb.)
Ariana has the number “561” on her thumb. It is the area code of her hometown, Boca Raton. It also matches Pete’s tattoo on his thumb, also the area code of his hometown, Staten Island 🏡 pic.twitter.com/yAO2MIb14n
Right after I tweeted this I watched her story and she has a tattoo that says reborn........ um @ArianaGrande that means you should be my friend pic.twitter.com/Pe1LkFXgGo
July 7: Davidson debuts yet another covered tattoo, on his right-hand ring finger this time. Covering what seems to be a faded "forever" tattoo now reads "goon." Davidson captioned the photo on Instagram: "As I was, as I am. as I always will be."
Later that day, Grande posts photos from her music video with Nicki Minaj for their song "Bed." In both the video and photo below, fans notice Grande has a new tattoo below her ribs (a trendy spot, at that). Although the word itself doesn't immediately suggest it has anything to do with Davidson, stan Instagram accounts speculate it was designed by Davidson per a copy of his handwriting in a letter he wrote his sister.
September 7: Davidson is seen outside, without a shirt, rocking a brand new tattoo dedicated to Grande. This one is self-explanatory considering it literally reads, "Grande," down his ribcage.
September 17: Grande and Davidson not only share a home, but now a pet — a pet pig, to be exact. It's name is Piggie Smallz. Davidson commemorates the milestone with a tattoo on his lower stomach.
September 21: Davidson copies one of Grande's oldest tattoos, a quote from Breakfast at Tiffany's, "Mille tendresse." Not only did Davidson copy the script, but he also got it in the exact spot Grande has hers: on the back of the neck.
October 10: Fans catch Davidson on Saturday Night Live with one of his Grande tattoos covered up. Now, in place of her Dangerous Woman bunny ears, lives a filled-in heart. Twitter wonders if this is a sign of trouble in paradise, but no one knows for sure until the news of the couple's called-off engagement breaks on October 14.
October 17: Grande films the NBC special A Very Wicked Halloween and appears on stage with a new makeup look and one missing tattoo. Upon closer inspection, it appears Grande covers her rumored "Pete" finger tattoo with a bandage for her upcoming performance.
October 21: During a comedy routine at the Judd and Pete for America benefit at Largo at the Coronet, Davidson addresses his new roommate search and exactly how "stupid" he was to get so many tattoos relating to Grande.
"So, obviously you know I, we, broke up or whatever. But when me and her first got engaged, we got tattoos,” he says. “And it was like in a magazine like, 'Was Pete Davidson stupid?' And 93% of it said yes. So my boy, he was like, ‘Don't listen to that shit, man. They're literally fucking haters.’ And I'm like, yeah, fuck that. I'm not stupid. And the other day we were in my kitchen and he was like, ‘Yo bro. Turns out you were stupid.’”
Women in country music are fighting for representation and airplay. A report from BuzzAngle found that women are a mere 5% of the genre’s consumption across radio, streaming, mobile, and all the ways fans listen to music. Hilary Williams is the daughter of Hank Williams, Jr. and granddaughter of Hank Williams, Sr., two men who helped create country as we know it and are icons in the genre. This is her story of attempting to launch a career as a woman in country, but being turned away by gatekeepers for over a decade, because she’s a woman.
I grew up in Nashville, TN. My parents, Hank Williams, Jr. and Becky White, divorced when I was 8 years old. I grew up with my younger sister, Holly, and my mom raised us. When we’d go over to my dad’s house, he wouldn’t have musicians around, but he would break out the guitar or the banjo and play. I didn’t know my grandmother, Audrey Mae Sheppard Williams, because she passed four years before I was born, but I heard she had these epic parties in the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s that Jerry Lee Lewis, Fats Domino, and all these amazing artists would come. It’s how my dad learned to play the piano and guitar. He would later show me some great stuff on the guitar.
My mom is an amazing classical piano player, she majored in voice in college. It was fun; she would play the piano and we would sing along, or we’d play the guitar along with her. She sang backup on Willie Nelson’s song, “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys.” My mom said she didn’t know it was going to be an iconic song — she was just in the studio with dad one day, hanging out with Waylon Jennings and Willie.
My dad and half-brother Sam always said I had the voice in the family. But when shopping around a five-song EP I made in 2006, I saw a difference in the way I was treated by the music industry versus my half-brothers. Hank Williams III immediately signed a deal with Curb Records and put albums out. I was meeting with lots of labels who said they didn’t know what to do with me, or that if I was a man it would be a lot easier to get me played on the radio. Or that a man should be singing my songs. They suggested I become a songwriter for other artists or go to the pop world. I found it really interesting, with the legacy of musicians that I come from, to get that type of pushback.
People call us the Country Kennedys, because of all the trauma that has happened in the Williams family. We’re fighters and survivors.
A lot of people wanted Holly and me to be a duo, but we don’t have that natural harmony. It angered us, being told that if we sang certain songs and dressed a certain way we would get signed, without giving our individual artistic visions a chance.
Then, on March 15, 2006, my sister and I were in a car accident while driving from Nashville to our maternal grandfather’s funeral in Louisiana. While we were in Mississippi on Highway 61, I looked down for a second to change my iPod and hit one of the deep ruts on the road. The rut shifted my car into the gravel. I lost control and overcompensated by jerking the wheel hard. We did a 360 in the middle of the highway, and one of our tires popped off. We skidded across the road and flipped four times in a field, landing on the right side of the car. I remember that I couldn’t breathe because the seatbelt was so tight. It took 45 minutes for EMTs to arrive, and paramedics had to use the jaws of life to take me out of the car. They said I shouldn’t have survived, because I lost six pints of blood. I temporarily lost my vision, too, and thought I had permanently gone blind.
When I was on the stretcher to the helicopter, I went into cardiac arrest, and felt like I was drowning in a pool. I saw a faceless angel come and take my hand; it took me to heaven briefly. Everything became very peaceful, there was no more pain. I saw friends and family who had passed, and my grandparents Hank and Audrey gave me a big hug. Then I came right back to Earth. The life flight nurses gave me PolyHeme, a temporary oxygen-carrying blood substitute made from human hemoglobin, and it brought me back to life.
People call us the Country Kennedys, because of all the trauma that has happened in the Williams family. We’re fighters and survivors.
After the accident, I had 30 surgeries and nearly died from a blood clot. I had to relearn how to walk three different times. I had a hip replacement, and plates with screws were inserted into my right leg and ankle. I was in and out of a wheelchair, walker, crutches, and a cane for two and a half years. I did physical therapy for five years. During my recovery, I thought I had lost my voice permanently. The breathing tubes had dried my throat out, and I couldn’t sing for six months. My voice teacher would come over to play the piano and do vocal warm-ups with me while I was sitting in my wheelchair.
Still, I wanted to sing again.
My hands worked okay, but where my legs were broken it was painful for me to have a guitar sitting on them. Once that healed, I could play better. A girlfriend of mine pushed me to keep writing songs. The first one I wrote was “Sign of Life,” which is on my new album, with this amazing guy named Blu Sanders. I was still in the hospital bed at my mom’s house, recovering, when we wrote it. It’s one of my favorite songs to this day. While I was in the hospital I told my doctor I was in a lot of pain, and he looked at me and said “Hilary, pain is a sign of life.” That line was the catalyst; telling the story of my life almost ending through this song was emotional, but it was also the most cathartic thing I have ever done.
When I was hanging upside down in the car, I was praying to God, telling him all the things I still wanted to do: get married, have kids, travel, and make music. Throughout this healing process, I wanted — needed — to make an album and get back to my life. It took over four years to write the songs, find the right people to work with, and complete the project.
Country radio is behind the times, but it still so vital to an artist’s career; it’s the main medium of exposure that drives album sales, tour bookings, and endorsement deals. Right now, women who want to be country artists are better off doing it their own way.
I met with a label in 2017, when my record was complete, and a rep told me that if they signed me I’d have to change half the songs on my album to make them more suitable for radio. He said there wasn’t room for me or my songs as they were. He also told me that even if I were to change the songs, there was still a good chance country radio wouldn’t play me, because there are already so many women fighting for the few coveted slots. I told him no, I wasn’t going to change any of the songs. I couldn’t believe that there was still this much pushback, 12 years after my first EP. Nothing had changed, except me.
I got tired of waiting on a label to sign me and decided to do it myself. I put my own team together and am forging my own path.
Finally My Lucky Scars came out in May 2018 and I felt gratified by its critical reception. Now I can control what I’m going to sing, who I am going to hire, and what my brand is. No one is telling me what to do. At first, I was freaked out by the idea of going on my own without a label behind me. But I found my own strength and power. When I get frustrated or experience more pushback, I remember everything I have been through and why I am here: to empower and inspire.
All of this has made me hopeful that women will have more of a chance, and more of a voice in this industry. Country radio is behind the times, but it still so vital to an artist’s career; it’s the main medium of exposure that drives album sales, tour bookings, and endorsement deals. Right now, women who want to be country artists are better off doing it their own way— and supporting one another. There is a revolution happening right now in Nashville, and women are leading the charge.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
It's every introvert's worst nightmare — you're at a party where you don't know too many people, and you've latched onto someone who seems safe to talk to for the rest of the night. But then it starts to happen: Your conversation with this person is dying faster than your iPhone battery.
As awkward as that can be, remember that it's not a reflection on your conversational skills.
"People might be tired, they might be distracted, there could be a lot of explanations that have nothing to do with you and the actual conversation," says Ali Mattu, PhD, assistant professor at the Columbia University Medical Center. "When we're in a conversation and it might be dying out, we can take it so personally, and take so much responsibility for it, but in reality, it might not have anything to do with the conversation itself."
The other person might tired, stressed, hangry, or just simply not feeling chatty — and it's normal for conversations to die out even when we're talking to our best friends. It just seems more pronounced when it happens with someone we've just meant, because there's more of a fear that you'll be judged on this one conversation alone.
"There's a lot more fear of being evaluated and judged when it's someone we don't know as well," Dr. Mattu says. "We don't have that as much with family and close friends, so we don't notice those conversations dying out [with them]."
If you're trying to revive a rapidly dying conversation, Dr. Mattu has two-fold advice. For one thing, ask open-ended questions. In other words, questions where someone has to give you an answer that isn't just yes or no. If you ask whether someone has seen the latest episode of Riverdale, for example, the conversation will die pretty quickly if they say no. If you ask what they like to do for fun, though, there's more of a chance that the conversation will lead somewhere.
The other part of Dr. Mattu's advice? Listening.
"So often we put so much pressure [on ourselves] to say more to keep the conversation going, but the best way to keep it going is to listen better," Dr. Mattu says. "Reflect back onto the person about your understanding of the conversation so that shows that you're listening, you want to know more, and as you learn more, that will keep the conversation going."
The more you do that, the more you'll find things to talk about. If, for example, you ask what someone likes to do for fun and they mention rock-climbing, ask them more questions about it and see where you go from there.
If you keep asking questions and hitting a wall, or the other person is looking around the room instead of making eye contact with you, it might be time to call it in. At the end of the day, Dr. Mattu says, you don't have to have a great conversation with everyone you talk to. If the chemistry just isn't right with you and whoever you've latched onto at a party, politely excuse yourself to get some food or a drink, and say hi to someone else.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Frequent visitors and the born-and-bred alike know that New York City is known for a lot of major firsts, like the first bank-issued credit cards, the first teddy bear — even the first plate of eggs Benedict was served in the kitchen at the now-shuttered Waldorf Astoria.
And in addition to being the original home to our favorite brunch entrée, New York is also the birthplace of the very first nail salon in the U.S. Fast forward 140 years, and the city is home to more than a thousand of them. And while we can all appreciate giving ourselves a good DIY mani while binge-watching The Office, let’s be honest: Nail care is one beauty ritual that most people are happy to outsource.
To avoid the potential staph infections and design booklets of bad nail art, ahead are the go-to spots worth a standing appointment. Whether you're looking for one-of-a-kind designs or a simple gel manicure, these are the best New York nail salons to try today.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Whether you blame your jam-packed schedule, or cop to being lazy, no one deserves to be feverishly scrolling though Pinterest at 4 p.m. on Halloween looking for a last-minute costume. This time is meant for indulging in mini candy bars and the waxy goodness of candy corn, not stressing over what to wear. Luckily, this year can be different.
We feel you — in fact, we are you — so we've put together a step-by-step costume makeup guide that’ll give you time to spike your blood sugar in peace and still win best-dressed later. In fact, you can wear anything you want with the costumes ahead (no cat ears needed) and you probably already have the makeup, too.
For help, we tapped horror makeup veteran Valerie Star of Caravan Stylist Studio for all the ins and outs of letting your makeup be your look. Read on to find your costume, plus everything you need to pull it off.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Well, it looks like the #VSxBALMAIN movement was successful. Last October, the lingerie giant announced it would be partnering with Olivier Rousteing and company — its first high-fashion collaboration ever — on a 22-piece collection of bras, underwear, lingerie, T-shirts, and bags. Capitalizing on that momentum, Victoria's Secret announced earlier this month that its follow-up designer collaboration would be with the "Queen of Prints," London-based designer Mary Katrantzou.
“Everything that Victoria’s Secret creates is about a woman feeling confident and empowered —and also having fun with what she is wearing,” Katrantzou said in a press release. “This collaboration is going to be bold, fun, and playful." Customers will get their first glance of the pieces during the Victoria Secret Fashion Show in November. Following the event, similar to the pieces Rousteing designed, Katrantzou's offering will be available at select stores and online.
When the collaboration was announced, details were basically nonexistent (you'll have to watch the show for full effect), but Vogue is reporting that Katrantzou worked with Victoria's Secret angels, as well as the show's longtime creative director Sophia Neophitou and executive producer Monica Mitro, to get everything just right. For Katrantzou, that meant pieces that were uplifting and colorful, yet bold and strong. “It’s designed to empower women to have fun with their undergarments and feel free to explore pattern and color as a second skin,” she told Vogue.
The beauty of this collection, she says, is in the duality of the items. “The pieces can be worn as undergarments or as actual clothing so all the fabrications have dual purpose,” she explained. “I wanted to stay true to our brand heritage so pattern and color are integral to the collection but we always kept the Victoria’s Secret girl central to the design process. There’s a nod to silhouettes that we’ve developed in past collections but there are also new silhouettes that we designed with VS in mind.”
Now that we have an idea of who (and who isn't) walking in the show, we just have one question: Who will be wearing the coveted million-dollar bra?
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
In our seriesMy 6-Figure Paycheck, women making more than $100,000 open up about how they got there and what exactly they do. We take a closer look at what it feels like to be a woman making six-figures —when only 5% of American women make that much, according to theU.S. Census— w ith the hope it will give women insight into how to better navigate their own career and salary trajectories.
Job: Associate Director, Social Marketing Age: 30 Location: New York, NY Degree: Bachelor's Degree, Public Relations First Salary: $19,200 Salary: $105,000
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
"At various times, I wanted to be an actress, writer, actor, radio DJ, or lawyer. I loved communications. I would pretend to host my own radio show and would write a 'newspaper' that I delivered to our neighbors. I was passionate about writing and being creative, but couldn't define a set path for myself."
What did you study in college?
"I originally went to college to pursue a journalism degree, but then the recession hit and a professor convinced me to pursue a public relations degree instead. I quickly got bored with my core classes, so my attention wandered and I picked up more classes in digital media, web design and marketing.
"Twitter and YouTube both launched while I was in college, so I became interested in social media. I ended up developing an independent study on the affects of social on traditional communications for honors credit. I graduated with a Bachelor's in public relations, an Independent study on social media, and a Fine Arts minor."
Did you have to take out student loans? If so, how much were they for and how long did it take you to pay them off?
"Oh my god. I definitely had to take out student loans, but my parents handled it entirely, so I didn't know exactly how much. I did receive a partial scholarship and worked part-time jobs throughout college to have spending money, so I was proud about contributing.
"When I graduated from school and got my first job, my mom told me about three loans I had to pay for, which was about $40k in total. Okay, not a big deal. Then two years later after my salary increased, she told me about SIX other loans in my name that I had to pay for, equalling a minimum monthly payment of $1,380, which was an entire paycheck. I also found out my total loan package was $109,000.
"Over the past few years I've been able to pay them down and have about $11k left and a minimum payment under $400, thank goodness."
"The reason why I've had so many jobs is that you normally don't see a huge salary increase or promotion unless you move to a new position."
Have you been working at this job since you graduated college?
"Heck no. I've been working at agencies throughout my entire career, and it can be volatile. I am currently at my sixth job and had about seven internships when I graduated from school. I've worked and interned for various social strategy and social marketing roles throughout my career. I've worked at a few other marketing/communications agencies, a tech startup, and in-house for a brand.
"The reason why I've had so many jobs is that you normally don't see a huge salary increase or promotion unless you move to a new position. I've also worked at places that had to do multiple layoffs or weren't making profits, so I moved on for my own self-preservation.
"I've also had a challenging time trying to get paid what I'm worth. When I graduated from college, I was making less than my market value since it was only a year or two after the recession. I think I've done a good job increasing my salary over the years but I wouldn't mind if I made at least $20k more."
How would you explain your day-to-day role at your job?
"I oversee account, strategy, creative, and analytics teams executing social campaigns and content for a global travel client at a digital agency. I also help with social strategy for new business pitches and other clients, mostly for influencer marketing and social media.
"My day consists of a lot of answering emails, following up with clients to get feedback, reviewing creative work, writing strategies and brainstorming campaigns while overseeing my direct reports. "
Did you negotiate your salary?
"For my current job, I did negotiate my salary. I had done some research through LinkedIn and Glassdoor to understand my worth, and even asked some of my friends who had similar experiences what they were paid for.
"Right from the first phone call, I was firm about what I was looking to make for my next position. When they came back with an offer lower than my range, I called it out and made it firm that I wanted to make more. I also knew they were looking to fill the position quickly, so I knew I had some leverage."
Is your current job your “passion?” If not, what is?
"No. I would love to freelance and developing my own consulting/content development agency helping small, creative businesses set up their social marketing programs. I would also love to pursue painting and writing more (I used to do a lot of freelance writing).
"At one point, I thought about making a switch to work more in arts and culture, even potentially working for the city of New York in their cultural affairs department. I've always wanted to find a way to work in the arts and was somewhat discouraged from doing so when I was younger since my family didn't make enough money. In an ideal world, I'd find a way to freelance to earn a living and then have free time to work on creative collaborations."
If you could, would you change anything in your career trajectory?
"I did make $85,000 at a tech startup that would have given me quarterly bonuses and raises, but then went in-house for a brand that was very culturally and creatively focused where I made $75,000 and got an annual bonus of $10,000.
"While I thought I was pursuing my passion, I ended up working way beyond my role and should have been paid more. I wish I stayed at the tech startup longer until I found that 'dream job' that would at least match my current salary."
What professional advice would you give your younger self?
"Keep up with side hustles and build up an emergency fund early so you have more options in case you're worried about being laid off. Take your time when evaluating new job prospects so you don't dive into something you regret a year later."
Are you a woman under 35 with a six-figure salary and want to tell your story?Submit it here.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Are we the only ones who feel like wedding season — also known as the long, money-draining months of taking planes, trains, and automobiles around the world to see some of our closest friends and family tie the knot — lasts all year long? Now, we're not necessarily complaining; we know it's a privilege to bear witness to love. But let's not beat around the bush. While wedding season might be fun, it is not cheap — especially when it comes to buying outfits for multiple events.
Luckily, H&M is bursting at the seams with everything from actual wedding dresses to bridesmaid gowns, guest outfits, and even accessories. And of course, being H&M, it's all happily affordable. The best part of the range, though, is that there's a wedding dress with a strong resemblance to the one Kate Middleton wore when she married Prince William — for under $300.
Click through to see our favorites from the collection, and get excited: Wedding season just became way more affordable.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Jared Kushner got candid about his relationship with Ivanka Trump in a recent political forum held by CNN.
In an interview with CNN political commentator Van Jones, the White House senior advisor, when asked about being part of a power couple with Ivanka, said, "Anyone with Ivanka would be a power couple. ... Ivanka is brilliant. ... Working together has given me an even greater appreciation for just how effective she is."
His fawning, even self-deprecating — " anyone with Ivanka would be a power couple" — comment makes sense in the context of other anecdotes about their power dynamics we've heard come out of the White House.
Kushner asked about being a power couple. "Anyone with Ivanka would be a power couple...Ivanka is brilliant...working together has given me an even greater appreciation for just how effective she is."
In Michael Wolff's tell-all Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, which we should take with a grain of salt, Wolff writes that the two had made a deal about who gets to run for president first, if it comes to that. "Balancing risk against reward, both Jared and Ivanka decided to accept roles in the West Wing over the advice of almost everyone they knew. It was a joint decision by the couple, and, in some sense, a joint job. Between themselves, the two had made an earnest deal: If sometime in the future the opportunity arose, she'd be the one to run for president. The first woman president, Ivanka entertained, would not be Hillary Clinton; it would be Ivanka Trump."
When analyzing photos of the two from 2014, Wood says she's noticed that Jared didn't make a lot of effort to show his affection for her. "If you look at what's striking about all of these 'early' photos is how he's facing flat-out toward the camera and she's an 'attachment.' She's doing all the work of intimacy to make it look like they're a couple," she says.
But Ivanka and Jared's body language has changed in a major way. In more recent photos, they are on a more equal plane. "She's still slightly angled toward him, but not as much. He's more 'V-ed' toward her — they're more in a love 'V' position here, which shows more equality. His shoulder is tilted down to her, which gives her a little bit more power," Wood says about this 2017 photo (below), which was taken just as President Trump announced a travel ban on seven Muslim-majority countries and thousands protested in airports across the U.S., and thus widely slammed for being tone-deaf.
As a former Catholic school student, I can tell you that Britney Spears' most iconic music video look is pretty hard to achieve. Her cutesy schoolgirl outfit in "...Baby One More Time" didn't just happen. It takes a lot of time to properly hike up your pleated skirt and position a white blouse just so. But slide on some thigh-highs, add ribbons to your pigtails, and voila! Schoolgirl Britney has arrived to whatever Halloween party is in your iCal, with wine ready in her book bag.
But what about Spears' other hits? "Toxic," "Stronger," and "Womanizer" have some pretty compelling Halloween looks, too. Instead of focusing on the present (the jury is still out on her G-Eazy collab), let's look at Britney in her prime. Nearly every Britney Spears video serves a look that would steal the spotlight at any Halloween party.
So dig out your Curious perfume (or her new gender-neutral perfume, Prerogative), slip into some leather, and pile on the jewelry. Being the best Britney Spears this Halloween will take everything you can find in the back of your closet.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?